Do you have a hospital fantasy?  No, not the one involving Dr. McDreamy from Grey’s Anatomy.  The one where you want to be admitted to the hospital for a little rest and relaxation. 

I read a piece on the Huffington Post by Katrina Alcorn where she describes that she had conducted an “unofficial poll” of 141 people and “almost half of them said yes, they have a hospital fantasy”—one where they hope they’ll be in a minor accident so they can rest up for a few days in the hospital.  Alcorn described one woman’s lament, “I don’t want any permanent injuries.  I just need a break. Just a couple days in the hospital. No work, no kids. Can you imagine?  I could catch up on sleep. I could read a magazine. I know, it’s ridiculous, right?  But doesn’t it sound great?”

No, it doesn’t.  Not at all.  I know I have a different perspective about hospitals than most folks, but honestly….have any of these people been to a hospital lately? 

First of all, minor accident or not, if you had health insurance, you’d need to pay your ER copay. Then, if the insurance company did authorize your admission, (and you might need more injuries just to make it worthwhile for an admission), you might be plunking down probably several hundred dollars in co-pay or co-insurance for your get-away-from-it-all stay.

Now, once you got to the room where you may have been thinking you were going to catch up on sleep or maybe read a magazine, fuggedaboudit!  You will be the “new admission” and thus worthy of much attention from the nursing staff, the physician staff, any ancillary staff that may have to perform one of the many diagnostic tests that the admitting physician ordered.  You may even be worthy of a visit from the hospital’s admissions department staff to make sure that all of the necessary volumes of paperwork were completed so that the hospital could receive the mere pittance of reimbursement from your admission that it’s entitled to.

No, there won’t be much catching up on sleep during this fantasy.  Better to schedule some time at the Ritz Carlton or the local overnight spa—might cost less and it will definitely smell better!