Do You Think It’s Too Soon?

June 25th, 2013 By: Betty Long

If you're breathing, chances are that at some point, you've experienced loss in your life.  That loss could have been a pet, a loved one, a partner or spouse, or heck, maybe even a car.  And with loss, comes grief, and mourning, and yes, eventually, healing.

And when it comes to healing, there is a point at which you may want to open up your heart or maybe, if you've lost a pet, your home to someone else.  And that time is very personal and is unique to each person.

I was reminded of this today when a deceased patient's wife shared with me that she was dating someone.  It has been ten months since her husband passed away and as she excitedly shared with me stories of her new beau, she stopped at one point and asked me, "Do you think it's too soon?"  And I replied, "Too soon for what? To be happy?  To enjoy yourself?  To find joy in someone's company?  No, I think that if you are drawn to this man, you should have some fun."

We continued talking about her mourning process and how she feels that it's time now to look ahead.  She described the two years prior to her husband's death caring for him, focusing on his health and his life, and in the months immediately following, how she felt immense pain and grief, how she just "couldn't imagine ever being happy again."  But now, she said, she is feeling "lighter," and describes wanting to "just go out and have a good time."

So, no, I said, "Go out and have fun.  It's not too soon for that.  If your spirit is lighter and ready to enjoy life again, you need to honor those feelings and in the words of Nike, (the company, not the God), 'Just Do It.'"

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