I grew up in a household with two adults and six children. One of my parents was a Democrat, one was a Republican. My aunts and uncles, who often came to visit, also split their political affiliations. Despite warning us children not to ‘talk politics,’ I vividly remember the often ‘boisterous conversations’ that the adults had. I learned in those moments that it WAS possible to have differences of opinion, voice them proudly, try to understand each other’s viewpoint, but not attack someone personally because, above all, we loved and respected one another. I often wonder what my parents and relatives would do these days!

Politics has often been labeled as an ‘off topic’ subject in social settings due to its potential to ignite heated arguments. That couldn’t be more true in the current state of our country.

This month’s issue of The Flame is intended to offer some suggestions for those conversations that might catch you off guard.

— Betty Long, RN, MHA, President/CEO, Guardian Nurses Health Advocates

Mind the Gap: Talking Politics Without Burning Bridges

In an era of heightened political division, many people find themselves facing difficult conversations with their partner or spouse, family members, friends, and others who hold opposing views. Whether it’s a tense dinner, a heated group chat, or a conversation that takes an unexpected turn, navigating these interactions can be stressful, unpleasant and emotionally draining.

Rather than avoiding family and friends altogether or engaging in never-ending debates, there may be ways to manage these moments with grace and self-care. Here are some strategies from Tandem Psychology, a behavioral health practice in Illinois, to help maintain peace while staying true to your values:

1. Set Boundaries: It’s okay to establish topics that are off-limits. If a discussion is heading toward conflict, redirect or politely disengage.
2. Practice Active Listening: The reality is that very few political conversations actually change a person’s perspective. Instead of preparing a rebuttal, try to understand where the other person is coming from. A little empathy can go a long way. I learned a long time ago that most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. Be someone who really listens.
3. Use “I” Statements: Express your perspective without attacking the other person or making it personal. Saying, “I feel concerned about this issue” rather than “You’re wrong” keeps conversations constructive. I would also recommend NOT pointing any fingers. That never feels good to the person on the other end of your finger.
4. Know When to Walk Away: If a conversation becomes toxic or unproductive, it’s best to step back rather than escalate. In the last few months, I have said on more than one occasion, “It’s clear to me that we are not going to agree about this and I really don’t appreciate you raising your voice at me. Let’s move on.”
5. Focus on Shared Values: Find topics where you can agree, such as family traditions, shared experiences, or common goals, to create a sense of connection beyond politics. I’ve always found baseball or sports in general a good bonding topic among my family members.
6. Prioritize Self-Care: Engaging in stressful conversations can be draining. Make time to decompress through activities that bring you peace and balance. Whether it’s taking a walk, writing in your journal, meditating, playing with your dog, or engaging in a hobby you love, investing in your well-being is crucial. Surround yourself with supportive people who uplift you, and don’t be afraid to take breaks from social media or the news when it feels overwhelming.

Political differences don’t have to define our relationships. By approaching these moments with patience and mindfulness, we can try to foster understanding and preserve the bonds that matter most.

At the end of the day, solid relationships are built on more than just our differences. After all, it’s likely we don’t agree with everyone on everything, but when we choose kindness, respect, and self-care, we create space for deeper connections and meaningful conversations.

As challenging as it might be, try to keep showing up for yourself and those you love—sometimes, that’s the most powerful statement of all.

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